He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
