happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
