but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
