Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
