Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
