and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
