I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
