I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
soo... how was my night?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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