lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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