What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
