I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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