You made me cry and you don't even care
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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