I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
