There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
