ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize