is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
