Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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