im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
