one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Duck Duck Cougar?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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