she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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