I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
