I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
