the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Farmville is her only friend.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
