is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
