I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
