R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
