It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
