we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
