would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
