I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
