I wish I could teleport
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
