Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Slut skills are useful in every country.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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