i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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