It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
