He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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