he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
