I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
