yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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