how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
