You don't have asthma, your pregnant
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Randomize
