There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
