I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
