I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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