Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
