just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm always down for nudity.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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