If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
