The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
