Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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