i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My penis needs a shock collar
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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