So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
True strength comes from lack of pants
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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