Your tits are I can't wait for
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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