I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
