OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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