My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize