Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
