I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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