Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
vagina is talking i cant
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
