problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
