the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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