I'm gonna have a badass scar
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Randomize
