The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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